3 Keys to Receiving Feedback

Posted on by Dave Simiele

In any leadership position, inside and outside of the church, feedback is a necessary part of every leader’s development. If someone is not receiving feedback on a regular basis, they are not a leader. Leading and receiving feedback go hand-in-hand, and as a leader, learning how to receive, request and process feedback is required for personal growth.

  1. Receive feedback from any source, except for anonymous sources.

I love surveys, and I love to give and receive surveys. The data collected and mined through a survey can reveal trends, threads and threats in an organization or about any leader. That said, I hate anonymous surveys and comment cards. If someone can’t stand behind their opinion or observation, it’s hard for me to give credit to comments. When someone offers feedback in person or with a signed comment card, I receive it. I may not do anything with it, but I will receive it with thanksgiving. Gratitude is the easiest way to receive feedback before you filter it. Feedback offered from a known source should always be appreciated and evaluated against previous feedback.

  1. Request feedback from those you trust and desire to emulate.

Too many leaders ignore feedback or fail to seek it altogether. To grow as a leader, you’ll need to request feedback often – you can’t wait for it to always come to you. In fact, some of the people you respect the most might not ever have the opportunity to give you feedback unless you ask for it. I’m a little too obsessed with feedback times, but some of the best feedback I’ve received has been what I have intentionally sought. Every leader should have two or three other leaders that they desire to emulate, and these are great leaders to request feedback from. Send them a video, share your writing with them, and ask them to evaluate your work. Sometimes the best feedback is solicited.

  1. Process all feedback carefully before implementing anything new.

Whether the feedback is offered from a known source or someone you highly respect, filter your feedback. I use the following series of questions as a filter:

  • Have I heard this before?
  • Is this someone who knows my heart?
  • Is this a personal preference or a universal principle?
  • Is this a blind spot?

In addition to asking myself these, I also present the feedback I’m processing to close friends. There is no one better at helping me process feedback than my wife. She’s honest with me, even when it might require work on my end. Processing feedback with others and in prayer reveals the right action steps.

The better we receive feedback, the better we give feedback. Don’t back down from receiving, requesting, and processing feedback. You’ll be a better leader and a better follower.

I’d love to hear how you’re receiving feedback. Comment below.

 

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One Mistake That is Easy to Avoid

Posted on by Dave Simiele

Admit it; you make mistakes in ministry. I know I have. In fact, sometimes I feel like I’ve made more mistakes than I’ve made a difference, but I’m thankful for the grace of God and for the forgiveness of the people I’ve offended.

Being a leader in multisite ministry increases the opportunity for mistakes. There are often more meetings, more distance to travel, more emails to communicate vision and direction, and more logistics that require proper planning. The opportunities for failure are all around, but there is one mistake that is easy to avoid. Ready for it?

Here you go: Don’t make a STANCE at first GLANCE!

You know you’ve been there. Maybe you were making your way from one classroom to another as part of your teardown process on Sunday afternoon, and you spot one of your staff members just standing there goofing around with one of your key volunteers. “Why aren’t they helping,” you think to yourself. You walk by moments later, and they’re still standing there appearing to be doing nothing. Now you’re frustrated, and you shout out, “It’s okay, we got it!” Have you been there? Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been there more than I’d like to admit.

Perhaps you can’t identify with my teardown story, but I wonder if you’ve experienced this “stance at first glance” mistake from a different perspective. You saw something, created a judgment about what you experienced, and reached a conclusion that later proved itself to be all wrong. Okay, maybe not you but what about someone else from your team? I think we can all admit that we’ve experienced something like this before. So how can we easily avoid this mistake?

Here’s what I’ve learned: ASSUME less and ASK more!

You know what happens when you assume, right? I won’t go into detail here, but assumption has the potential to destroy any relationship, at any time. When we take the time to ask questions about what we or others have observed or experienced, we can understand more clearly what’s going on.

That staff member that was not tearing down on Sunday afternoon and was just standing around tells you that the key volunteer he was talking to was just let go from his job on Friday without notice. What you saw as a prolonged discussion, possibly around Saturday’s game, turned into something much more intense and life changing.

What you or others experience in a moment is rarely all there is, assume less about the situation and ask more questions.

Have you been here before? How have you learned to avoid the mistake of assumption? Comment below.

“Spending Time With Jesus” is Never Enough

Posted on by Dave Simiele

No matter how much time we spend with Jesus, it will never be enough by itself. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think there’s anything more vital than time with Jesus, it’s just that I believe He has more for us than His time.

In our Christian circles, we throw around phrases like: “I need to have my quiet time with Jesus” or “I just need to be with Jesus”. Great phrases, but what is the outcome of this “time with Jesus” or “being with Jesus”? I believe that Jesus wants to offer more than His time to us.

In Matthew’s gospel, we read this invitation from Jesus:

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

What a beautiful invitation! Jesus invites us to spend time with Him, but that’s not the only invitation in this passage. Jesus also invites us to learn from Him. See, the invitation from Jesus is twofold – spend time with me and learn from me.

The secret to finding rest for our soul, and gaining the most from our “time with Jesus” is being in His presence and learning His principles.

Just as spending time in the gym doesn’t make me fit, only spending time with Jesus doesn’t produce in me all He has for me. Jesus invites us, not only into His presence, but to also learn His principles. The benefit of being with Jesus is the transformation He brings to our life.

When we say, “yes” to both invitations, we experience true rest for souls. So, if you’re spending time with Jesus, you’re halfway there. But don’t just spend time with Him, learn from Him. If you’re not spending time with Him on a regular basis, consider yourself invited. Find a time, find a place, and find a method to track what He’s teaching you. For me, time is in the morning, the place is in my living room, and the method is my journal.

Would love to hear what you’re doing, and how you’re responding to this twofold invitation of time and teaching. Comment below.

If You Don’t Admit This, You’ll Fail

Posted on by Dave Simiele

In a recent conversation with my friend and mentor, Lance Witt, I was confronted with a truth in my leadership that I already knew, but didn’t want to admit. Ready for it? As a leader, I have limits. I know what you’re saying, “Shocker! Of course, you do!” As leaders, we often see the limits of others much more quickly than we see our own, and I’d rather talk about others’ limits than my own. But here’s the deal, leaders hate to have limitations, and we certainly hate to address our own . While all of us in ministry have limits, we rarely address this truth until it’s too late. If we don’t admit and address our limits, we’ll fail ourselves and the people we’ve been entrusted to lead.

With the recent resignation of Pete Wilson, the senior pastor of Cross Point Nashville, more leaders are talking about limits, but talking about them isn’t enough. In fact, most leaders who talked about Pete’s story addressed his failure to acknowledge his limits, not their personal failure to admit and acknowledge their own limits within the ministry. If we’re going to make it in the long run of ministry, we’ll have to admit our limitations. I’ve already blogged about this in the past, but even Jesus, in all his humanity acknowledged his limits.

Mark 1:35-39 reads:
35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 36 Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37 and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” 38 Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” 39 So he traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

Did you see it? The disciples said, “everyone is looking for you” but Jesus’ response was, “Let us go somewhere else.” I don’t think Jesus was rejecting those looking for him, but he was focused on what and who was before him. As leaders, acknowledging our limitations begins with thinking about those who are before and not behind us. What I mean by this is that we have to allow our future self to help determine our current limitations.

We all have limited time, resources and energy, and when we address our limits, it’s best to do so with the perspective of the end in mind. How do we want to be remembered as a parent, spouse, or pastor when we’re gone? If I’m honest, it matters less about how we’re remembered as a pastor or leader. In my opinion, it matters more about what those closest to us will say about how we loved and cared for them.

Since my conversation with Lance, here’s what I’ve been thinking about limits:

  • When I don’t acknowledge my limits as a leader, everyone loses.
  • Limits are not designed to be pushed but to protect us.
  • Limits are daily reminders we can’t do everything for everyone.
  • Acknowledging our limitations increases our dependency and sufficiency in Christ.

Limits are for our good and should never be ignored. When we admit and address our limits as leaders. everyone wins. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the limitations of life and ministry. Please leave a comment below and join the conversation.